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It’s All in the Family
By Bonnie A. Hughes, CFP®
When planners work with families, a lot of storytelling goes on. The family tells their financial stories of how they got to this place in this time and planners will often share their own stories and anonymously, they may share the hard won experience from other client cases. Every family is different and most of us have a preference for the tone and tenor with which we like to share things inside a family. With that in mind, let’s explore some basic conversations that are helpful to have in every family.
It can be true that children learn what they live. So as parents, first take a look at your own money history. What did you learn about money that you may, for better or worse, be teaching your children? We can model what we want them to learn.
An early discussion about both parents’ contribution to the household seems appropriate to helping children understand that everyone is pitching in. If one spouse works inside the home, recognizing this person’s contribution is important. And for those working outside the home, that contribution should also be recognized. When financial strain hits a family, it can be instructive to talk about its impact and make it easier to support each other until things get better.
The families that I’ve seen are the most successful when transferring knowledge about financial stability and success are those that have enough conversations around money that a lot of the mystery around it is dissolved.
Even in a capitalist society we do not infuse our K-12 curriculum with financial education so if it doesn’t happen at home, it’s not likely to get covered. That can mean some very rough sledding ahead for those who do not have the benefit of a lifetime’s worth of conversations on all things financial.
Other conversations that may be helpful to have throughout childhood could include:
 What does ‘being wealthy’ means to you
 Choosing your own path vs. what neighbors and friends might choose
 when to get a first job
 what to expect from those early jobs
 when you work those early jobs, can the family match your earnings so you can contribute to a Roth IRA?
 What advanced schooling is appropriate for each individual child
 Where that schooling will take place (community college, state college, an elite private school)
 How to pay for that school (will the student work, can an employer pay, will the family be able to help, are loans or scholarships available)
 Once adulthood is reached, what is a good savings rate to insure financial security down the road?
 Emphasize ‘doing the math’ (it’s been surprising and disappointing how many financial decisions are made on hunches or rules of thumb vs. sitting down and crunching the numbers)
Once the concept is understood that money doesn’t know or care who owns it, but that our choices can affect the degree to which we obtain it, use it, share it, and enjoy it; we can move money in the direction of our own dreams. Taking away the taboo of talking about money increases our chances of gaining and keeping perspective around it.
So bottom line, keep talking!

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